don't fight the downhills

Yesterday, whilst running the five miles that my training called for, I got to thinking about hills. Not metaphorically, although you can definitely metaphor hills to death if you want to. And yup, this post will ultimately be a metaphor. But for now, I'm just talking about physical hills.

 

Running on hills has never bothered me all that much. Even when I didn't take running so seriously, I saw them as a challenge to defeat rather than an insurmountable obstacle to dread. That's just who I am. Every uphill has a downhill. And on that note, every downhill has an uphill. We all know this. But the thought that popped into my head yesterday surprised me: 

You're fighting the downhill. Stop fighting the downhill. 

Of all the things to fight - why on earth would you fight the downhill? But that's exactly what I was doing. I was shortening my stride, and fighting the very momentum that nature was giving me. Not just giving me, more like shoving it in my face, yelling, "TAKE IT! TAKE IT!" But there I was, pounding the earth like I was going out of style on a 40% incline and making the downhill just as difficult, and maybe more so, than an actual uphill. 

I'm good at challenges, but I'm not so good at easy. I'm not so good at letting momentum take me where it will. I will almost always find away to make everything 10,000 times more complicated than it needs to be. I'll get lost because I followed a map to somewhere I already knew how to get to, but was so afraid of getting lost that I plugged it in my GPS anyway. Only to have the GPS take me to the back alley of a department store when I'm trying to get to the doctor's office. It's really, really, really freakin' hard to let go, and just let intuition take you where you're supposed to be. 

Granted, I would end up lost if I always let intuition guide me everywhere. A little foresight and planning never hurt anybody. But it has to be a give and take...there has to be some letting go...I am working on that letting go. I'm working on the downhills. 

And I'm getting better. I let go on the downhills of my runs, now. Let gravity do its job, for goodness' sake. And I let go this afternoon, when I knew I needed to go to the doctor and I didn't fight it, I just went. And now I have antibiotics to kill off what would normally turn into an even nastier case of bacterial tonsilitis than I currently have. My normal pattern when coming down with something: repeat the mantra, "I am not sick!" 100 times, ignore all warning symptoms just to save the hassle of putting things on hold to get better. Then, get sick anyway and increase my recovery time tenfold. 

There are some things you just shouldn't try to fight without some help, and bacterial tonsillitis is one of those things. In the past I would probably be seething right now - seething at having to take some time off, seething at sitting around doing nothing but not feeling good enough to do anything else - but I'm trying hard to be mindful this time. There's nothing I can do about being sick. And it's not going to matter in six months, or even six weeks, unless I don't take the time now to take care of myself. So I'm just going to take care of myself, and not fight it. It's a new angle for me. 

Being under the weather is a different kind of downhill...but I'll be on the upswing again soon, because I didn't fight it so hard this time. 

All smiles, 
b

blue moon busy beaver

I have been a busy beaver over the past week. I'm trying to figure out whether I have time to do my half marathon training and not flunk out of grad school. I faceplanted into concrete at the very beginning of my Thursday run, and the last mile of said run was in pouring rain (go ahead and laugh...I am! now, at least). I got two parking tickets for the same thing (backing into a space - I had no idea you couldn't do it the first time...the second time I just wasn't thinking, obviously) but I think (I hope!!) I've learned my lesson. I made kale chips and lemon bars and confetti vegetable pasta sauce. I lost a water bottle at orchestra rehearsal. I discovered there were anchovies in my carrot juice - going to be reading juice labels very carefully from now on. I had an early morning debate about the public education system in Nashville. I saw The Bourne Legacy (not sure I'd recommend it...wait until it's out on Netflix or something). I had breakfast at The Pancake Pantry with my cousin and wife, who just moved to Nashville from New Haven. 

The confetti vegetable sauce - zucchini, yellow squash, red pepper, and mascarpone cheese. This recipe is from NestMeg (go check out her blog, it's awesome and will most likely make your stomach growl). It was easy to make and pretty sure it's officially my favorite pasta sauce ever.

The sky was really pretty on Thursday night, so that brightened my mood some after my bad run. That and I got a veggie burrito bowl from Chipotle, omnomnom.

   

Ooooof. I am thankful for a long weekend. Last night I sat outside with my pup and enjoyed the blue moon and just didn't think for a while. This morning I went to power flow and I'm feeling much more centered, energized, and ready to enjoy the weekend.

The "blue moon" from yesterday night - there won't be another for three years!

I'm off to the Franklin Jazz Festival to soak up some awesome live music. 

All smiles, 
b

the world in a peach

I had an awesome run this morning, an awesome cowrite session this afternoon, and I'm going to have an awesome night with some awesome ladies. So I leave you with the happiness of a freshly bitten peach. 

The nectarine, and curious peach/

Into my hands themselves do reach. (Andrew Marvell)

 

Happy weekend everyone! 

All smiles, 
b

why i run

 

I love running. I'm a pretty intense person, and pounding the sidewalks with Drake or Ke$ha (admit it, they're on your running playlist, too) works wonders for me in terms of blowing off steam. I do better all the way around when I run - I'm happier, nicer, more patient. It's good for me, and it's good for everyone that has to deal with me. 

Anyway. A couple weeks ago I did something I've been mulling over for a few years now: I started a half marathon training plan. Legit started. It's a challenge, especially because I have exercise-induced asthma. But I love challenges. Nothing feels better to me than pushing myself to to something I previously thought impossible. The training is going well. I had been running only sporadically when I first started, but now I'm doing 3 miles in a cool 30 minutes. 

Or at least I was until today. My run was awful today. Purely awful. The training called for 30 minutes "easy" today, aka running at a pace where you're able to easily hold a conversation the whole time. Mile one was fine, but the other 1.66 miles (I didn't even make it to 3) were PAINFUL. And the thing was, I was being awful to myself. Why is this hard for you? This shouldn't be hard for you. What happened? I glared at my phone and made faces that I'm sure were infinitely amusing to people driving by. 

Then I stopped. Just be nice to yourself. I said that out loud. And then I felt a little better. So what if not every run is great? So what if not every run is progress? Sometimes you gotta go backward to go forward, right? I had a horrible night's sleep last night. It threw me off this morning. I did my training anyway, so that's accomplishment enough! I have a rest day tomorrow. But Friday I'll lace up, hit the road, and I'll kick its butt - without trash talking myself to death. End of story! 

An unrelated anecdote from walking the dog this morning:

Neighbor: "That is the cutest dog!"

Me: "Thanks. He's friendly...just hyper sometimes."

Neighbor: "I understand. My grandson is like that."

All smiles,

b